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5.17.2005
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tag, i'm it!
(thanks to greg, who i swear isn't lame despite this glaringly contrary evidence.)
total volume of music on my computer: 15.27gb
last cd i bought: awake is the new asleep - ben lee
song that's on right now: sleepy inside - irving
five songs that i listen to a lot:
change clothes - dj danger mouse/jay z
rich - yeah yeah yeahs
idiot boyfriend - jimmy fallon
italian leather sofa - cake
go ahead - rilo kiley
five people i'm now tagging it:
jennifer
ginevra
albert
will
todd
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5.4.2005
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fuck me! no, wait...don't.
i'm not gonna tell you what prompted buff "benedict" eddy to send me this email because i've already given you enough evidence of my total asshole tendencies, and this story is no exception. i've got a one-way ticket to hell with my name written all over it already, so i'll spare you the gory details. however, this email is way too amazing not to share with the world and you would hate me if you knew i'd kept it to myself.
enjoy!
While you are looking for Prince Charming which can take years in LA, why dont you meet your sexual needs with this smart, funny imported beefcake as your friend and fuck buddy? Since your Milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, let me Usher you to my Candy Shop.
Do you have any Chinese in you? If not, I can give you some with no G-string attached, and you can even have a ball .... :) I can open more Doors than Jim Morrison, so Cum On Baby, Light My Fire. Save drama for your mama, and enjoy some original comedy with me.
Got Milk? I am a weapon of ass seduction, a muscular alpha male, confident, exotic, erotic, intelligent (MS CalTech, USC PhD program with a Lick Her license), discreet, diclicious, juicy, cerebral, and funny Asian stud, 30 years young, 69 inches, 185lbs, works out daily, non-smoker, disease and drug-free, smooth, shaved, hot but way cool, well hung but not cocky, thick and uncut for your Sugar Walls. I love animals, and can lick your kitty, spread your eagle, do a doggie, taste your Red Bull, kiss your Jaguar, or horse around with the cock. I am not Madonna, but I can Juicify My Love. I am not George Michael, but I Want Your Sex. I can host since I have nice condo near Westwood Village and Sports Club LA with heated swimming pool, sundeck, tanning chairs, koi pond, waterfall, lush landscaping, jacuzzi, steam room, gym, personal sauna, French music, satin sheets, and decorated with art and statues.
I am not Cameron Diaz or Russell Crowe, but I am The Sweetest Thing with A Beautiful Mind. I am not Garfunkel, but I do what Simon says. I am spiritual, witty, can make you laugh, connect with you on many levels, and fill you with more Passion than Mel Gibson. I am not an Oscar winner, but I am a Million Dollar Baby for a goddess who can ANALyze This. I love to go downtown on an Uptown Girl because I am a more cunning linguist than The Interpreter who can cumfort you regularly as a friend with benefits, or if we click, supply more LTR than a nympho can swallow.
I am a porn-again Christian who disagrees with the Pope on contraception and celibacy, so cum play with my bishop, get baptized with holy water, and cummit a cardinal sin. I am Home Alone in Westwood so you can just bring your bikini and swim/jacuzzi/sauna with me, have some wine, nuts, sausage, conversation, and creampie, watch DVD, enjoy my humor, get under my foreskin, and receive a facial. I can rock you better than Rod Stewart, so if you want my body and if you think I am sexy, just reach out and let me know. I look gorgeous naked, and can outlast the Energizer bunny for your Close Encounter of the Wild Kind, so email me stats, pics and perhaps your # so I can fulfill your Booty Call and be the boy toy in your Happy Meal.
La Perla lingerie $400
Liposuction $2000
Mercedes Benz S-class $100,000
Finding a talented Chinese Takeout who has class and can make you laugh......priceless
Buff "Benedict" Eddy
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5.3.2005
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smelly
the only interesting thing that's on my mind right now that i could possibly post without offending anyone is that there is a one block zone on colorado street here in los angeles that smells like tunafish salad and i know this because i've walked through it three days in a row and it's consistently there each day.
oh, and it's gross in case i hadn't made that clear.
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