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5.15.2004
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princess skampy does the laundry
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5.14.2004
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east coast represent
well, now that i've been on the westside for over 2 years, i thought it was time for me to once again grace all y'all eastsiders with my glorious presence.
yes, on memorial day weekend. yes, i realize many of you like to camp or roast weenies or drink beer in your campers, but whatevs, man. i am, like, so totally way more important than any three-day weekend travels you may have already planned.
speaking of important, i'm *so* LA now and as a result i'm a total fucking flake and i've forgotten many, many, many of my beloved east coast friends' contact info. so please, i beg of you, please for the love of god, send this info to anyone you think i'd want to hang with in the NYC and/or DC hoods.
(note: please think twice before sending this to anyone i may have had "adult relations" with...i may or may not want to ever see these people again.)
i'll be in NYC may 26, 27, 28, 29 and in DC may 30, 31, and june 1. i'm doing a little get-together in NYC at ace bar (531 e. fifth) on thursday night (5/27) and in DC at gazuza (1629 connecticut) on monday night (5/31).
if you can't make it out on one of these nights then you suck it big time, but let's try to hang on one of those other days at the very friggin' least, ok? i mean, jesus christ, who does a girl need to blow to get some quality time with her friends around here?
if you don't have my cell digits, email me (dana at maybeiam dot com) and if i like you i'll hand 'em over. if not, well, then this is a w k w a r d but hopefully you can take a hint. ;)
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5.6.2004
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brutal
well, it's out. the online version of the esquire magazine's brutally honest personals. i gotta say, my original version was way less bland and way more self-deprecating. the issue hits the newsstands may 18, apparently. and yes, i will be available for autographs and/or hot dates later. here's my original submission, for the sake of posterity:
There's seriously nothing worse than an embittered girl who was dumped the day before Valentine's Day by her boyfriend of three years, right? Wrong-o, pal! I'm that girl and I have to say that my newly lowered self-esteem coupled with my anger, depression and over-willingness to drink one too many vodka & sodas is just what the doctor ordered in terms of you getting me into the sack on the first date. Sure...it's true that I've eaten one too many bon bons in recent days and my pants are feeling a little snugger than they were on February 13. My eyes just might be a little red and puffy from the random bouts of sobbing. My kitchen floor hasn't been mopped in way too long and little tribes of East Asian sherpas are in a heated competition to see who can be the first to scale the intimidating Mount Laundry that's sprung up in my bedroom.
It's true what they say...there actually is a silver lining around every dark cloud. I'm pretty cute despite my close personal relationship with my spare tire and my ghetto booty. I am extremely judgmental when it comes to your taste in music, but this means that I have excellent taste in music myself. Same goes for shoes, clothes, computers and hairstyles. I don't go to the gym nearly as often as I should, which probably explains my somewhat matronly upper arms. I work for a nonprofit, so that means you'll probably be paying for a large majority of our dates but you can sleep easy at night knowing I can pay my own rent. Dating me is like long distance running...once you get past all the bullshit in the first couple of miles, the rest is cake, baby.
p.s. to those who didn't already know that i am single again, um, hello? that is *so* 3 months ago.
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