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4.29.2002
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my key ring serves as a constant reminder of how little i actually have in terms of earthly possessions. i have two keys on the thing...one gets me into my office, which i can only use during the weekdays between 8am and 6pm and the other gets me into the bathroom in the hallway just outside my office and can also only be used while i am in my office. i have a cvs extra care card, which lands me a discount at the pharmacy but i don't even know if there are cvs pharmacies in california anyway. i also have three empty key rings, which are place holders for a time when i actually do have the basic things a person in los angeles needs...a place to live, a car to drive and a place to park it. until then, i guess my key load is just a little bit lighter and for that i should be grateful. as soon as that grateful part kicks in, i'll be sure to let you know. in the meantime, i'll just stick with this nagging unsettled feeling i have that stems from living out of suitcases and begging others for rides.
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4.17.2002
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day 3 at the new job and already there've been 5 cards passed around and 1 conference room birthday party where i opted not to sing along to the happy birthday song and further opted not to eat the ice cream bars served in lieu of cake. it's not that i don't have that birthday spirit, it's just that i generally know the person whose birth it is i'm celebrating on any given day. at least i got the train the other new hire on the fine art of secretly passing the card from employee to employee...though i'm still not sure how the new girl is supposed to know how not to ask the birthday boy or girl to sign his or her own card when she hasn't actually met half the staff. so, until next time, i remain completely boggled by intra-office birthdays.
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4.16.2002
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living in california - working at my new office - not using IM - waiting for emails from you at danaatwork @ hotmail.com - loving the way things are going - wanting to get my own apartment - wanting to get my own car - wishing i was a little bit taller and smaller - thinking about the friends i'm missing - wishing you were here.
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4.7.2002
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misread
"she mentioned his preference for destiny, as it were."
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4.5.2002
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the point is not that i feel one way or the other about any given topic, the point is that i believe that if a person does feel a certain conviction that his arguments should be solid. showing a person the holes in his logic is the same as telling him that his fly is down...a guy can't protect his goods if his zipper is wide open.
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4.3.2002
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tums for breakfast today = mexican for dinner last night.
*burps* ouch.
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4.1.2002
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today i found out that i'm adopted. sort of. my mom's youngest sister got pregnant when she was 14 and my mom had recently gotten married and was living in some sort of delusional blissful domestic type of life and offered to raise me while my aunt finished school. apparently then upon realizing that she had no maternal instincts, my aunt asked that the entire family keep it a secret from me forever. all this time i knew that my mom's first husband was not my real father, but i had no idea that my mom wasn't my real mother, either. i mean, i knew there was some fucked up story behind not knowing who my father was, but i definitely didn't think it was this. i should probably feel weirder about this than i do.
yeah, yeah...ok. april fools. but maybe i am pregnant, looking at porn, flirting with geriatrics, listening to perry como and compulsively washing my hands...so what?
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