4.27.2001
- link
well, we knew it had to come. i've gone and done it. also, i'm pretty freaking cute. disclaimer: it is only on when i'm online...pesky dialups. (in case you didn't figure it out, it's a webcam, stupid. and for some reason it only works in IE. why would you use netscape, anyway? eew.)
and now there's even workcam!
- link
reason #94038487 why i hate people:
"what should i do with my recycling?" says one staff member outside of my office to anyone within earshot.
"sell it on ebay!" says another staff member who apparently thinks she's very hip to online auction sites yet jaded enough to realize that ebay is filled with crap but also is under the impression that she's quite witty and interesting.
- - -
4.25.2001
- link
i just sent out a notify list email that makes me look insecure or hilarious and i'm opting for the latter. here's a snippet:
i have these semi-private urges to deconstruct these dreams and let my so-called friends know that i know how they really feel about me. for example: pregnant = she thinks i'm a slut.
you're missing out on the rest of this juicy yet informative email by not being on this esteemed list. you really, really are.
- - -
4.24.2001
- link
orange breakfast.
- - -
4.23.2001
- link
just for you, dear reader, my hands are covered in welts and hives for when i returned home to post a little ditty about my brand new haircut and my brand new freckles and my brand new springy demeanor, i sat down to a keyboard piled high with pollen. no, really...there was a thick, dusty layer of pollen atop every single key.
*scratch* *sneeze* *scratch* *sneeze* *hack* *cough*
i love you!
- - -
4.19.2001
- link
oh man, icont is back and it tastes great.
- link
so there's this crazy french woman who lives in my apartment complex named odette. odette is a former ballerina and weighs maybe 90 pounds and is maybe 75 years old. sometimes she wears silly hats with white flowing clothing and sometimes she doesn't. sometimes, in fact, she wears nothing more than a bikini, exposing her droopy skin-and-bones frame.
yesterday odette was kind of enough to drop by to deliver a package that she'd received on my behalf the day before. i was in my bedroom, lying in my death bed, when i heard a knock on the door. i didn't really have the energy to move so i just ignored it. then i heard some scraping noises so i got up to find that odette was unscrewing our peephole. i opened the door and said "odette! how are you?" "i have dees package for you, mi amour," she said. "thanks for signing for it for me," i said.
changing the subject, i commented, "i like what you've done with the flowers. it's very pretty." "oh, dees flowers are sheet! and tonight it vill freeze and my flowers, they vill become worse sheet!" she mourns. "well, they're pretty for now. i enjoy them everytime i leave the apartment," i add. "someone so sick as you should not be leaving her apartment, you know. you vill not get vell if you do not sleep," she advised.
"why were you unscrewing our peephole before i answered the door?" i asked, curious. "to see inside your apartment, of course!" she explained. of course, i thought. how silly of me to even wonder otherwise.
- - -
4.18.2001
- link
you wouldn't believe the technicolor miracle coming out of my nose right now. and my lungs. and if asked to pick a color i see when i close my eyes, i'm not sure i could narrow it down to just one.
speaking of technicolor and clothing, does anyone know of a good laundry service in the dc area?
- - -
4.16.2001
- link
theraflu and you. consider it a perfect night for healing.
- - -
4.12.2001
- link
an accidental street carnival is what called itself my night. also, bob and edith's. also, a tambourine from someone and someone else. and please, let's not forget the blatant silence.
i wonder if i would be able to sleep better in seattle, despite the cultural reference to the contrary.
- link
gimp junkie...that funky junkie.
i am so strong. so, so strong. also, wounded and weary. but strong. don't forget about the strong part.
- - -
4.11.2001
- link
http://www.lycos.com/srch/?lpv=1&loc=searchhp&query=am+i+ugly
maybe i'm not and maybe i'm not! am+i+ugly. ha! i'm so fucking hot i can't walk in the rain for fear of steam. yeah, that's right.
- - -
4.10.2001
- link
transcripto perfector, 2.0
CoolRachel*: hi!
skampgirl: hi rachel!
skampgirl: how are you?
CoolRachel*: good
skampgirl: is it sunny there?
CoolRachel*: 4r
skampgirl: what?
CoolRachel*: sorry
CoolRachel*: I have a friend over
skampgirl: ok
CoolRachel*: We cought two frogs
skampgirl: oh yeah?
skampgirl: big ones?
CoolRachel*: A Mother and a father going to have baby's
skampgirl: hmmm.
skampgirl: tadpoles?
CoolRachel*: no frogs
skampgirl: frogs don't have baby frogs.
skampgirl: they have tadpoles.
skampgirl: well, first they have eggs.
skampgirl: then they hatch into tadpoles.
skampgirl: and then the tadpoles turn into frogs.
CoolRachel*: I know
skampgirl: so...
CoolRachel*: hdfggdv7
CoolRachel*: so what
CoolRachel*: gfgf
skampgirl: slkdsoiwensl
CoolRachel*: fgfgf
CoolRachel*: fgf
skampgirl: slsn alw xs wso ala
CoolRachel*: fdgfg
skampgirl: nweoa.,
skampgirl: dnalkddie
CoolRachel*: fgfdfdf
CoolRachel*: fgdfdr
CoolRachel*: gfddrf
CoolRachel*: gfzdf
skampgirl: dkdfhgkdkd kd dhjsls
CoolRachel*: htwj =dnc n
CoolRachel*: !@#$%^&*()_+_)(*&^%$#@!@#12345555667
skampgirl: kdkdow *** dkslwm,. sals. x.a;sa
CoolRachel*: 7780987654321`1234567890-09765432
skampgirl: ><><><><><><><>?<><
CoolRachel*: ~!@#$%^&*()+_)(*&^%$# @!~!@#$%^&*()_)O(*^%$##~!!@#$%^&*()_+)_(*&^%#@!~@#$%^&*()_
CoolRachel*: bye
CoolRachel*: love u
skampgirl: byebye to you too
skampgirl: enjoy the frogs
CoolRachel*: gtg
skampgirl: kweis
skampgirl: knkb
- - -
4.9.2001
- link
you know there's a problem when cheese becomes a refreshing beverage.
- link
how is it that i can have so much in common with shopgirl's airplane itinerary and yet STILL not have a sugar daddy?also, i still haven't touched the ocean, either.
- - -
4.8.2001
- link
the removal of all things girly is imminent, at which point we can pretend that whole silly phase never happened.
- - -
4.7.2001
- link
one time meg's grandpa, rad rad, decided for whatever reason (i only remember some of the details of the story) to run upstairs to get a gun. he had many guns. in a moment of careless, reckless abandon, rad rad fired his gun and blew a hole straight this his shoe, which he was wearing at the time.
in the spirit of rad rad, i must say that today i feel as though i, too, just shot myself in the foot.
- - -
4.5.2001
- link
blue toilet duck is flakey.
red jeep is omnipresent.
koolaid is salty.
collar bone is anxious.
- - -
4.4.2001
- link
the word of the hour with lots of people is sardonic. why? what makes sardonic so much better than the more traditionally used sarcastic? does sardonic make you sound more evil? or does it make you sound smarter, as it leaves some people out of the loop regarding your meaning? or are you just bored with the word sarcastic and want to shake things up a little?
i'm fond of sarcaustic, personally.
- - -
4.3.2001
- link
Leo: Once you get it through your head what a dumb waste of precious time it is to try to convince thickheaded control freaks and fuzzy-minded space cadets how valuable you really are, you will finally be able to walk away from oppression and tyranny. You have to be thoroughly fed up, however, to reach that point. Maybe when Saturn leaves your midheaven and Mars touches Pluto in your 5th house, you will turn to the only true source of joy: creativity. If that doesn't work, you can always waste even more time freaking out over the grief you get from your "kids."
and "kids" is a metaphor for...?
- link
i've been thinking a lot about sxsw lately and my behavior there and i can only think of two-worded phrases that can possibly sum it up. such phrases as "wild oats" and "i'm sorry" and "aww crap" and "so stupid" and "why me?" and "oh god" come to mind first.
- - -
4.2.2001
- link
weird conversation #742:
somechatperson: how did your date go, btw?
skampgirl: good, but i dunno what i'm doing hanging around all these indie boys.
skampgirl: so many tshirts, so little time.
wishywashystupiddotcomslashboyssuckdotasp.
- - -
4.1.2001
- link
those crazy brits and their crazy penis ideas. something about this site makes me want to say "april fools!" and yet it's just not a prank. hmm...scanner, anyone?
- - -
